" If someone asked me 6 months ago, where I saw myself in the next 5 years, I would have said, 'I don't think I'll live to see 30'. Today that answer is different, courtesy therapy and medication. 19 out of my 26 years have been spent battling a plethora of mental illnesses. Between the ages of 7 to 20, I had had four depressive episodes (each lasting longer than the last), had battled Bulimia, faced mild bullying at school, become a raging alcoholic, started self harming (cutting) to the extent that only the sight of my own blood calmed me down, came close to ending my life once, and developed Social Anxiety and OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder) wherein I used to lock myself up at home for days on end. A little after this, my OCPD worsened and I went on to washing my hands 35 times a day resulting in the first layer of my skin cracking, bleeding, and peeling off.
When I was 16-years-old, I had an inkling that Depression was what I was going through, but I only mustered up the courage to get help 9 years later when the hallucinations started. I first told my brother about all that I was feeling, and the ease and more than anything, the normalcy with which he approached the situation helped me cope and come to terms with the simple fact that I needed help. Through this I learned that self acceptance is winning half the battle. It took me as recently as a few months ago to understand that Depression requires help and above all, that I am WORTHY of getting that help. My acute self worth issues told me I was not worthy of getting that help. It helps taking one day at a time. Telling aloud and accepting that 'Today was a bad day, but tomorrow's a new day and will be okay' really takes the edge off an anxiety-riddled moment.
It's cool to be kind - after battling mild bullying in school and coming across adult bullies thereafter, there's one promise I've made to myself, that is to be kind and compassionate to every person I meet.
To extend yourself and see beyond the bullying and negative talk people indulge in about you, is tough, but SO worth it. When you can look yourself in the eye and have a good night's sleep knowing you were nothing but kind and empathetic to all, especially to those who hurt you, you know your promise to yourself is fulfilled. I call being diagnosed with mental illness as being mentally coloured! And so, I'm mentally coloured with Chronic Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, Social Anxiety, General Anxiety, OCPD, and Panic Disorder.
It's legitimately buy 1 get 5 free! "