Your Energy Is Your Currency

First grade.

This is when my stammering started and everything went down from there. It was the root cause and the beginning of low self-confidence. I would restrict myself from making friends and be a part of all social activities. Being a quiet child turned into being a socially anxious adolescent. I’ve loved dancing and that would be my favourite activity. This was also because it was the only way of expressing my feelings without having to speak and that was probably the only time I was confident in my skin to face the world. I don’t know if I was born with this talent or if I became good at it over time, but I was recognised because of my dancing. It resulted in me believing in myself and having an increased self-esteem. As my self esteem grew, I started feeling more confident and realised that the flaw in me was only a part of me and was not my absolute identity. With an exceptional dance teacher and incredible support from my family, I started participating in school events and also represented India in various dance competitions held internationally.

Not only dance but speech therapy was a confidence booster as well. Going for speech therapy helped me connect with myself and understand how my speech affected so many aspects of life; from making friends to feeling confident in my own skin and everything in between. Nonetheless, this wasn’t the end of dealing with speech and confidence problems. As I grew older, these things manifested as anxiety. It wasn’t until I was in my last year of degree college, when my psychology teacher pointed out to me that I could have anxiety. I used to get uncomfortable and anxious when things were not done on time, I had the urge to keep checking things, I stressed over the smallest of things. This wasn’t basic stress but so much distress that I had to miss one of my examinations in college as I became physically ill because of my anxiety. Due to my anxiety, my self-confidence spiralled back to where it was in my childhood. Again, thanks to dancing, one thing that played a key role in dealing with this condition. Dancing calms my body down, turning my stressful mood into a relaxed one. Dancing, my energy, makes me feel confident, further overpowering my anxiety. I’m yet on the path of discovering the root cause of my anxiety and the best ways to cope with it, only by continuing to dance and understanding myself better. I would like to tell people that for me, my energy is my currency and maybe for you as well. If not, your love, confidence, energy, etc. can be your currency - your greatest strength.