Mind Your Own Measurement

“So I've always been overweight from the time I can remember anything. As a child though I was literally obese - to a point where my parents were worried I would grow up to be an obese adult with serious health issues. However, as I entered my teens, I lost quite a bit of my baby fat where I didn't really look obese but was overweight. Being really tall was a boon and a bane as at times it helped cover my excess weight and on the other hand, made me look bigger. In school I was mercilessly teased about my weight leading to self-esteem issues. I was convinced I will never be good-looking because I'm so fat. The girls in school were relatively nicer but the boys would never fail to comment on my lack of good-looks (which were apparently directly proportional to the size of my body). Elders around me too always asked me about my weight and one comment about my weight gain/loss/stagnation was inevitable at family gatherings. It wasn't nice growing up to constantly feel like you're not good enough because you're not good-looking. To a point where I even thought I would never have a boyfriend because I'm so fat and ugly! (Though now I'm happily married)

About a year and a half ago, I lost 13kilos which totally changed how I looked. Naturally this didn't happen overnight but I had to put in a lot of hardwork including giving up certain foods (I'm a major foodie). After my marriage, since about 6 months, I've gained some of it back on and it kills me every single day! It's like an obsession that's constantly playing at the back of my mind. Everytime I cheat meal more than once, I will measure myself. It's an unsettling feeling and more so one of fear. What if I look as fat as I did 2 years ago! What will people say? I'll look ugly again? It starts with acceptance of flaws really. Nobody is perfect. Yes, being obese or tooo skinny is a medical issue which should be addressed but you can't kill someone's confidence for that. It's going to take a while, heck I'm still trying to love my body the way it is but in today's times, it's not that easy. All in all, if I had to say something it'd be "Mind Your Own Measurement". “